The Microwave Casserole Incident
by Valeria Lector
Summary: The true story of what happened on that fateful day. You know the one...involving a certain microwave casserole. Rated K for violence involving exploding casseroles. Please read and review!


**Author's Note: **This was an idea I made when I was half asleep. The main character as you probably already guessed is Dr. Magnusson. Note that through out the story I tried to make him the biggest prick of all time since that's what he is really. I still have to say though that he is one of my favorite characters of all time. Anyway enjoy and please review!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Valve bla bla bla and if anyone has written about this already I'm sorry I didn't know.

**The Microwave Casserole Incident**

Dr. Arne Magnusson glanced over to the alarm clock on his nightstand. He was not surprised that the neon green numbering read 6:30 AM.

"Why does it always have to be 6:30_?" _he muttered to himself with a frown.

Ever since he could remember, it had always been at the same exact time that he would instantly wake up. Even when he was younger, his parents had found it odd that no matter what time he went to bed he would always end up waking up at 6:30. The doctor pondered the thought a while longer before finally rising out of his bed. With an irritable groan, he slowly dressed into his clean Black Mesa lab coat. He knew he didn't have to hurry; the test was not scheduled to happen for a few more hours anyway. Upon putting his coat on, Arne turned towards the red tie, the last article of clothing (besides his shoes) that would complete his uniform. He glared it.

"Why do we all have to wear these ridiculous ties?" he asked himself angrily as he put the tie on. He didn't have the answer. All he knew was that he hated those ties with all his heart. After he had finally finished dressing, he went to the bathroom in his dorm to get a final look on his appearance. Staring at his reflection in the mirror, he realized how well he looked for a man in his late forties. His hair was still a deep auburn color, with only a few gray hairs creeping up from behind his ears. No one would be able to guess his exact age, but if they tried they would surely guess somewhere in his early thirties. With a smile of satisfaction, he turned on the heel of his foot and left his dorm.

Dr. Magnusson made his way down the empty halls of the Level 3 Dormitories. He passed the many dorms, the library, and the aquatic center, until at last he arrived at his destination, the kitchen. He was not hungry, but he knew he would be later. As he opened the fridge, he began to search for the leftovers he had eaten the previous night. However this was not an easy task since many other people also shared the fridge. After much success of digging through the fridge he finally found it, his delicious chicken and cheese casserole. As he grinned down at the casserole, he began to think of how scrumptious the soft chicken and cheddar cheese would taste once he had cooked it. The very thought of this almost caused Dr. Magnusson to rip off the lid covering the casserole and devour the whole entire meal. Still he knew that if he ate it now then he would have to resort to the snack machines for lunch.

"Ugh not again…," he shuddered as he began to remember back to that dreadful day.

The flashback went quickly through his head as he saw himself standing in the mini break room of the Anomalous Material Laboratories. He had only one quarter, but it was enough to purchase a bag of potato chips from the snack machine. As he turned towards the machine, he dropped his quarter into the slot and chose his favorite brand of potato chips, Doritos. The machine rumbled for a bit, until finally he heard the sound of a bag dropping in the delivery tray. With a smile from ear to ear he reached down to grab the bag only to realize that it felt strangely heavy. As he picked up the bag he examined it a bit closer to find that the bag was already open, and full of cockroaches. With a startled shout he quickly dropped the bag and began to stomp on it hysterically. He _hated_ bugs, probably even more than he did the ties he was forced to wear and that alone said a lot. By now the flashback had caused the doctor to lose his appetite as quickly as he had gotten it. Shoving his previous memories to the back of his mind, he gathered what was needed for his future meal and departed from the kitchen.

It had not been long before Dr. Magnusson arrived at his next intended destination, the transit system station of Level 3. Like usual the tram was late, causing him to become extremely annoyed and irritable. Tapping his foot impatiently, he noticed a security guard approach from his left. He hated having to communicate with the lower ranked and usually drunk officers, but he knew that if he wanted to get to Sector C on time he would have to.

"You there, guard! Why is the tram late?" Magnusson demanded as he turned and walked towards the officer.

"I'm not sure Sir," the security guard responded politely, "I think I heard something about a system crash but who knows for sure." This was what he was hoping he wouldn't have to hear from the guard.

"Well go find out then!" ordered the doctor with a sneer.

"Yes Sir," the officer mumbled as his shoulders slowly sunk.

As each minute passed, Magnusson's blood pressure began to slowly rise. He surely thought he would explode if he was to continue to wait even another single minute. Just as he had thought this, the familiar sound of the tram car filled the room of the waiting station.

"Finally!" Magnusson shouted as he threw his hands up into the air angrily.

As he stepped aboard the tram car he took a quick glance to see who else was on before finally seating himself. He was careful to sit as far away from the only other passenger who was once again another security guard. The tram car began to move slowly, as it headed to its intended destination. As it did, the automated com system switched on with its usual messages like what time it was, the temperature of Black Mesa, and where the train was inbound and heading to. Dr. Magnusson, like he did every day, took the short time he had to take in the beauty of Black Mesa. It really was a work of art and even the worn out machinery gave the facility a unique sense of relaxation. He was having a grand time viewing the vast scenery of Black Mesa, until he began to feel the sense that he was being watched. He turned to see that the security officer had been eyeing him.

"What are _you_ looking at?" Magnusson questioned glaring right back at the guard.

The guard shrugged. "Meh, nothing. Nothing at all," the officer replied as he gave a tiny smirk.

Dr. Magnusson continued to glare at the security guard, muttering uncomplimentary things under his breath about the man when he felt the the tram stopped at Sector C and the doctor hurriedly got off. As he looked back the tram began to move off again with the guard still in it.

"Cya around Doc!" the officer shouted to him, obviously trying to suppress his laughter.

Dr. Magnusson tried to take no notice to the guard, and decided to forget the whole thing. As he walked up to the entrance of the Anomalous Material Labs, the security guard stationed there gave him a greeting and automatically opened the door. Magnusson did not bother to thank the guard, nor did he bother to stop and verify himself in the main complex. He wanted to do only one thing, and that was to eat his casserole. The wait for the tram and the actual ride, had both caused him to become extremely famished. The fact that the smell of the casserole had been taunting him the whole time had not helped his situation. Upon arriving in the break room he headed directly to the microwave, placed the casserole inside, and set the time for exactly one minute and thirty seconds. Now all he had to do was wait.

About thirty seconds had gone by when all of a sudden the newly hired employee, Dr. Gordon Freeman entered the room.

"Good morning Gordon." Magnusson greeted with slight disgust.

Gordon gave a quick nod as if to acknowledge his presence but nothing else conversation wise was continued.

"_Hmpf. Any friend of Kleiner's is an enemy to me!_" Magnusson thought to himself.

Kleiner was like his arch nemesis, always competing with him for grant money. None the less Magnusson had already developed a contraption that would blow everyone away. He knew the money was to be secured with him, and then Kleiner would be sent back home to Massachusetts. Magnusson was quickly drawn away from his happy thoughts as he heard a sound similar to a small explosion. As he turned towards the source of the sound, his face began to twist into a combination of horror and shock. Inside the microwave, was his beloved casserole completely obliterated with bits of chicken sliding down the cheese covered door. Next to the microwave stood Dr. Freeman with a look of curiosity.

"My God!" thundered Magnusson, "What are you doing?!"

Freeman was quiet for a moment, until finally a smile spread across his face.

"Kleiner sends his best wishes," Gordon replied slyly as he turned and walked out of the break room leaving the flabbergasted Magnusson to stare after him.

**The End**


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